imapython:

petition for Joseph Fink to upload the bloopers from recording Welcome to Night Vale and call it Welcome to Night Fail

curvydirtynerdy:

if you let me sit on your lap and think i won’t do everything i can to give you a boner you’re dead wrong

(via w3mightaswelljustfuck)

5 hours ago with 653,683 notes | reblog

5 hours ago with 33,833 notes | reblog

theheadtheheartthetardis:

I can’t remember if my vibrator is in my closet or under my bed.  if it’s in my closet I’m not going over there because I found and killed a giant ass spider over there earlier, and I’m not about to find it’s friends waiting to kill me.

update:

It was under my bed.  No death by spider for me tonight

I was watching an episode of Rick and Morty with my friend yesterday and it was an episode with these creatures who only exist to help you with a certain task and then then poof out of existence.  However, the longer it takes them to help you complete a task, the more decrepit they get and have a hard time moving around.

My friend was watching it and was just like, “How terrible would it be if that happened in real life though.”

And I looked at him, and was just like, “Bro, that’s actually what happens when you get older.”

I can’t remember if my vibrator is in my closet or under my bed.  if it’s in my closet I’m not going over there because I found and killed a giant ass spider over there earlier, and I’m not about to find it’s friends waiting to kill me.

5 hours ago with 230,297 notes | reblog

Unpleasant customers who complain and say they’d rather go somewhere else.

image

(Source: ijustneedthemoney, via spoopycecil)

6 hours ago with 61,145 notes | reblog

6 hours ago with 394,973 notes | reblog

6 hours ago with 2,361 notes | reblog